Life

.....sucks. Life really isn't fair, is it? I follow this one blog and this woman just lost her baby to ALS. It's heartbreaking to read; I literally cried at work reading it today. No mother should ever have to go through that. But she seems so strong and it's inspiring and hope-inspiring.

Marissa is going through a really hard time too. I think most of all that is what has kept me in an almost constant state of depression these past couple of weeks. I talk to her a lot now on the phone, twice a day. And on the phone I'm happy for her, I have to be. I tell jokes and cheer her up and I really am happy but then we hang up and I cry. Dominic keeps me from falling apart. Also I'm looking forward to a trip home to San Antonio for two weeks soon. Dominic will get to see his Grandma Pena again and he'll get to meet his grandpa and aunts and uncles and cousins!

My mom worries a lot. About Marissa mostly. But I know she knows I'm taking it hard even though I reveal nothing when I talk to her. She knows. I feel like I have to be strong for a lot of people. Sometimes I feel so alone. Even though I know I should be so happy this summer: I was just blessed with a beautiful life. I wish she wouldn't worry it's not healthy for her.

Then, there's people like Stephen. He deserves nothing special. He shouldn't be happy. What has the world come to where Marissa is sad a lot and has to raise a two year old while 6 months pregnant and her cheating husband is running around with some UGLY a** b***h!??! Usually i wouldn't blame the other girl but she knew he was married and had a toddler and still continued on with this relationship.
Marissa is so strong; she had the strength to kick him and keep him out. But I know she has her moments where she wishes....
She gets angry, she gets sad, she's frustrated, she's hurt. I wish I could take away all her pain. I would if I could. I want more than anything for her to find happiness again. I wish I could look into the future and know and promise her that she will find a great guy, she will find love again.

I am a strong believer in Karma. "What goes around comes around" kind of thing. I know Life isn't fair.

To Karma: Here are my suggestions for those two: He does the same thing to her (well, leave out the two kids this time) and he ends up in his late-twenties alone, broke, and living with his mom off the government in a trailer whose sink has rotted through the floor.